Math Nerd?

I just made two posts on recreational math. I'm what you might call a math nerd wannabe. I'm NOT a math nerd - I don't have a flair or the rigor required to make that claim - but I've always wished I were.

I used to read Martin Gardner in Scientific American. And I tried to enjoy it with mixed success. More recently, I subscribed to Numberphile, but finally unsubscribed when I realized I tend to lose focus about halfway through most of the videos. And 3Blue1Brown? The same but more. It's not just that I have trouble following the math (although I often do), I'm just not interested enough to try hard enough. But darn it, I wanna be! :-)

When I was very young, I aspired to be a scientist so I could invent cool things. Never mind that theoretical scientists and inventors tend to be very different kinds of people; in both cases, I don't have the knack. I think I'm more of a hobbyist who discovered that he could be paid well for his hobby. I've never invented a cool algorithm, but I've enjoyed implementing cool algorithms that real scientists have invented. I like tinkering, taking things apart to see what makes them tick, and sometimes even putting them back together.

Not that there's anything wrong with this. I've led, and continue to lead, a happy, productive, and fulfilling life. I'm reasonably well-liked and respected by my peers. I have no complaints about how life has treated me.

But I am sometimes wistful about what might have been ... being a math nerd/scientist/inventor would be pretty cool too.

Anyway, I won't be making regular posts about math ... unless I do. ;-)